Are you hoping or Intending? I find that whenever I talk about topics such as think and grow rich or anything to do with achieving a goal, I often find that your success or failure can be wrapped up in two words. Hope or Intention. These are the two words that are keeping you either surviving or thriving. What is the difference...Well to hope is to have a goal that "Might" happen and to "Intend" is to "KNOW" that the goal will happen!
Here is a quick example: Have you ever heard someone say "I hope I lose 10 lbs this summer" and what happens??? Next summer they are still hoping the same thing.
Have you heard someone ever say "I am going to lose 10 lbs this summer!" and for that person they switched from "wishing" or "hoping" to "knowing" they were, no matter what, going to lose that weight.
Hoping keeps your thoughts in the future by always expecting that someday everything is going to be alright, Intention brings your expectation into the present by "Knowing its going to be alright" Now! Then you make up your mind that this "Is what YOU WILL or INTEND" to Do!
This is how things that you want begin to happen. Hope will keep you hoping, and intention will get you to your destination!
Once you understand the difference then you need to begin to look at your goals different. Make your goal, and begin to see it as "already done" or "know" it will happen. After you begin to switch your mentality then it is time to do the "work".
This is a major piece to the puzzle that most people miss. They want the end result and believe it will happen, but they do not do their part to making the goal happen.
This is like saying: I am going to win the lottery and you never buy a ticket. You can believe and intend all day long that you "Know that You Know" you are going to win, but if you don't get off your butt and buy a ticket you will not have any chance at it at ALL!!!
So what are you sitting on your butt about today? Having you set a goal, and You know it is going to happen but yet you still haven't done anything about it?
So what is your part in making your goals a reality? Your part is simply to do the next logical thing that will get you one step closer to your goal or intention. If your intention is I am going to lose the weight, then the next logical step is to go to the gym and get exercising. You see how this works? First you set an intention or goal then you do your part! It is that simple.
The last part is, once you begin to do your part do it with all your strength and with excellence! Do not expect a great result with minimal effort! Life just doe not work this way, so quit trying to cheat yourself from a meaningful achievement by giving half-hearted effort.
I hope you enjoyed this blog and always if you have a question then leave a comment and I will get back to you, and feel free to share this blog with your contacts!
Thanks.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
LIfe: Understanding Crisis when it Just Does not Make Sense
I recently had a Friend ask me about a crisis, and here was my response.
There was a story that helped me out in one crisis I had and it was about a boy who was at the Doctor with his father. The doctor came over to give the boy a shot of vaccination. The boy was hysterical while his father held him. The Father said nothing to the boy, other then it will be alright. The boy cried and was hysterical as he looked with tears in his eyes at his father.
The boy's face filled with pain and tears wondering how the man he loved could allow a stranger to cause him so much pain. At the end of the visit and after the tears were washed from the boy's face-The young boy turned to his father and said "Daddy why did you let him do that to me?" The Daddy replied "Son I had too because your body needed that shot. If I did not let you go through that pain then later in your life you could be prone to disease. Sometimes, son, what hurts you now will benefit you later, and know this...it hurt me just as much to see you in pain!"
Maybe that story will help and maybe it wont. It helped me put a perspective I so desperately needed at a time of Crisis in my life.
I am wishing you breakthrough and remember you are watched over and Loved.
There was a story that helped me out in one crisis I had and it was about a boy who was at the Doctor with his father. The doctor came over to give the boy a shot of vaccination. The boy was hysterical while his father held him. The Father said nothing to the boy, other then it will be alright. The boy cried and was hysterical as he looked with tears in his eyes at his father.
The boy's face filled with pain and tears wondering how the man he loved could allow a stranger to cause him so much pain. At the end of the visit and after the tears were washed from the boy's face-The young boy turned to his father and said "Daddy why did you let him do that to me?" The Daddy replied "Son I had too because your body needed that shot. If I did not let you go through that pain then later in your life you could be prone to disease. Sometimes, son, what hurts you now will benefit you later, and know this...it hurt me just as much to see you in pain!"
Maybe that story will help and maybe it wont. It helped me put a perspective I so desperately needed at a time of Crisis in my life.
I am wishing you breakthrough and remember you are watched over and Loved.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Life: Struggling with being single
I recently had a question asked on a comment on my "Secret" post. Its my goal to answer as many questions as I can to be a help to as many people as I can. I want to take the time now to address the question asked as I feel it will not help the person who asked it but anyone else going through similar struggles.-Enjoy!
Dear Mina,
First I want to thank you for taking the time to comment and ask questions on my blog. It takes guts to open yourself up and reveal your true self and emotions. In regards to your question I think the best way to describe what you are going through is a struggle being single.
Most women I know who are single go through this. Men are prone to this also, but the reason women have a greater struggle is because how they get their self-worth.
Let me explain in greater detail. A man will get his self-worth from his career or what he is capable of doing. If you ask a man to tell you about himself he will immediately tell you what he does for a living. He will talk about his career, his business, or his job. He eyes will beam with joy if he is doing well at his business, or if he has just received recognition or a promotion at his job. Although women can have a similar pride for their career I find that at the root of a woman's soul is relationships-let me explain.
You ask a woman to describe herself she will begin talking about her relationships in her life. She will say: "well I am engaged, I have a boyfriend, or I have two kids." Woman are relational and when a relationship is not functioning correctly or if it is not there at all women tend to deal with it negatively.
Woman tend to be more devoted then men and so if a woman does not have a strong relationship then that's when you will see her devout herself to a job or career because some women are trying to fill that void in their life for a connection. If they can not connect with a man then they will connect with a career and give it their all.
I say this so you can begin to understand why those lonely feeling or lack of self-worth feelings are there in the first place. Those feelings are there not because you need a man, but rather because its your strong desire to "have a man" which goes back to what I said about woman being more relational to men in regards to self-worth.
This is why, especially here in America, we are having a boom in older woman quiting their jobs and having kids. Women are now starting families in their 40's instead of their 20's because they substituted one desire for another. What I have seen in these cases are women who devoted themselves to a career and put on hold their desire for a family or relationship only to later have such a strong desire to "be with someone" overwhelm them to the point where they drop everything to start a family or relationship right away.
This where most damage is done in relationships. The desire for a partner or family is so strong that we almost feel like we are running out of time so we get the first available quality person we can find instead of finding the right person for you. I believe this is part of the reason why the divorce rate is so high.
Well let me get back to the issue at hand. Now that I have briefly explained why woman feel the need to "have someone" I want to help you figure out a way to feel complete without having to "have someone."
The key is back to understanding the function of a man and woman. A man processes most things through his primitive body and a woman processes things through her emotions or soul. That is why a Woman will often say "I don't have a connection with him", and a man might talk about his relationship by the physical attributes of his woman-"My girlfriend is so hot!" I am sure you recognize these statements in your experiences.
Remember we are body, soul. and spirit. The body just deals with the physical aspects of life through our senses, the soul deals with the emotional aspects through our mind and will, and the spirit is our intuition or our sixth sense which most people ignore and thus stays undeveloped.
I say that so you can realize that the problem lies in your ability to strengthen each part of yourself. The problem most people have is in their soul-where they deal with their emotions.
You have to begin to deal with your thoughts and feelings first before you can truly understand your self-worth.
If you get quite for a minute and just relax and breathe you will begin to see and hear your thoughts about yourself. You must understand that you are talking to yourself "All The Time!"
Whether out loud or in your head there is always some form of dialogue.
This is where most negativity is born-in our soul or mind. The only way to combat these negative thoughts and feeling is by talking back to these thoughts and feelings. It does not matter what other people say about you it only matters what you say about yourself and what you say to yourself. Some cultures look down on a woman if she is not married by a certain age and that adds to your stress, and negative thoughts and feelings multiply in your head.
The battle is truly in the mind, but the key is to use our spirit and our body to combat it. I will go into that in a second, but I want to address part of your original question.
You say you do not feel complete without a man and I have explained a little why you don't feel complete with-out a man. The other issue I see is your strongest time of joy was when you were with your man. This is where you must begin to regroup and plan ways for you to have joy and fun so that you are complete without a man.
Let me stop and say I believe relationships are wonderful and that it is God's gift to man but like I have said in previous post, we need to be two complete individuals coming together to benefit each other instead of two broken people trying to become complete. The problem then becomes trying to put together "Broken Pieces" instead of having a "Complete Portrait" of a beautiful life.
I really hope you find the man of your dreams, but in life you should "attract him" or "stumble upon him" while you are working on completing yourself. This is the work of every man or woman in any aspect of life. Do your best to be your best and more then fill your place on earth and you will attract or stumble upon "your hearts desires!"
So on a practical level here is how it works. Remember we are body, soul, and spirit and the problem starts in the soul or mind and emotions. Thoughts must be fought with thoughts and the only way to fight a thought is with a word. Words create thoughts and the that is why what you say to yourself is so important. If you entertain negative thoughts with out combating them with positive words then you allow those negative thoughts to breed in your mind and multiply until it becomes a negative cycle or depression.
So you must begin to write down every positive thing about yourself and life and anything positive thing you want to see happen in your life. Once you have written these things down as positive sentences then begin to speak them out loud in the morning and at night and anytime a negative thought comes in your head. See this as sowing and reaping. For years you have been sowing and reaping negativity and now you will use these new seeds or words to create a better harvest for your life.
Next you want to go to the body. Exercise, enjoy nature, or do anything that brings you laughter and happiness through your senses. For me this is a funny movie or a walk in the park where I can relieve stress. This will add the physical element to completing yourself.
Finally its the spirit. To activate your spirit start by being grateful for what you have already, and detach yourself from the emotion of having to have a man now. You can believe that the perfect man is on the way, and be grateful to God for him and then release that attachment to that feeling or need and go on with your day in gratitude. This is truly "the Secret" to manifestation of your dreams. The next part of the spirit is trust and believe that the best is on its way to you and the begin to start to trust your intuition and gut feelings again. We all have that internal feeling that says "this is right or this is wrong", but the problem is we question it too much. We have to start to exercise our conscious again so we can release our spirit to help guide us again.
I am sure we have all had an experience when we felt like something was wrong inside us and we ignored that feeling only to later realize that we should have listened to that feeling! That is what your spirit is there for-to help you make the right choices.
So that is the end of this story for right now as I have written an essay to answer this question lol. I truly appreciate someone half way across the world taking the time to write from the middle east! I hope I have been of some help and feel free to ask a question or comment anytime. Also please share this blog with as many people as you can as I am trying to be a help to as many people as I can.
Thanks and God Bless!
Dear Mina,
First I want to thank you for taking the time to comment and ask questions on my blog. It takes guts to open yourself up and reveal your true self and emotions. In regards to your question I think the best way to describe what you are going through is a struggle being single.
Most women I know who are single go through this. Men are prone to this also, but the reason women have a greater struggle is because how they get their self-worth.
Let me explain in greater detail. A man will get his self-worth from his career or what he is capable of doing. If you ask a man to tell you about himself he will immediately tell you what he does for a living. He will talk about his career, his business, or his job. He eyes will beam with joy if he is doing well at his business, or if he has just received recognition or a promotion at his job. Although women can have a similar pride for their career I find that at the root of a woman's soul is relationships-let me explain.
You ask a woman to describe herself she will begin talking about her relationships in her life. She will say: "well I am engaged, I have a boyfriend, or I have two kids." Woman are relational and when a relationship is not functioning correctly or if it is not there at all women tend to deal with it negatively.
Woman tend to be more devoted then men and so if a woman does not have a strong relationship then that's when you will see her devout herself to a job or career because some women are trying to fill that void in their life for a connection. If they can not connect with a man then they will connect with a career and give it their all.
I say this so you can begin to understand why those lonely feeling or lack of self-worth feelings are there in the first place. Those feelings are there not because you need a man, but rather because its your strong desire to "have a man" which goes back to what I said about woman being more relational to men in regards to self-worth.
This is why, especially here in America, we are having a boom in older woman quiting their jobs and having kids. Women are now starting families in their 40's instead of their 20's because they substituted one desire for another. What I have seen in these cases are women who devoted themselves to a career and put on hold their desire for a family or relationship only to later have such a strong desire to "be with someone" overwhelm them to the point where they drop everything to start a family or relationship right away.
This where most damage is done in relationships. The desire for a partner or family is so strong that we almost feel like we are running out of time so we get the first available quality person we can find instead of finding the right person for you. I believe this is part of the reason why the divorce rate is so high.
Well let me get back to the issue at hand. Now that I have briefly explained why woman feel the need to "have someone" I want to help you figure out a way to feel complete without having to "have someone."
The key is back to understanding the function of a man and woman. A man processes most things through his primitive body and a woman processes things through her emotions or soul. That is why a Woman will often say "I don't have a connection with him", and a man might talk about his relationship by the physical attributes of his woman-"My girlfriend is so hot!" I am sure you recognize these statements in your experiences.
Remember we are body, soul. and spirit. The body just deals with the physical aspects of life through our senses, the soul deals with the emotional aspects through our mind and will, and the spirit is our intuition or our sixth sense which most people ignore and thus stays undeveloped.
I say that so you can realize that the problem lies in your ability to strengthen each part of yourself. The problem most people have is in their soul-where they deal with their emotions.
You have to begin to deal with your thoughts and feelings first before you can truly understand your self-worth.
If you get quite for a minute and just relax and breathe you will begin to see and hear your thoughts about yourself. You must understand that you are talking to yourself "All The Time!"
Whether out loud or in your head there is always some form of dialogue.
This is where most negativity is born-in our soul or mind. The only way to combat these negative thoughts and feeling is by talking back to these thoughts and feelings. It does not matter what other people say about you it only matters what you say about yourself and what you say to yourself. Some cultures look down on a woman if she is not married by a certain age and that adds to your stress, and negative thoughts and feelings multiply in your head.
The battle is truly in the mind, but the key is to use our spirit and our body to combat it. I will go into that in a second, but I want to address part of your original question.
You say you do not feel complete without a man and I have explained a little why you don't feel complete with-out a man. The other issue I see is your strongest time of joy was when you were with your man. This is where you must begin to regroup and plan ways for you to have joy and fun so that you are complete without a man.
Let me stop and say I believe relationships are wonderful and that it is God's gift to man but like I have said in previous post, we need to be two complete individuals coming together to benefit each other instead of two broken people trying to become complete. The problem then becomes trying to put together "Broken Pieces" instead of having a "Complete Portrait" of a beautiful life.
I really hope you find the man of your dreams, but in life you should "attract him" or "stumble upon him" while you are working on completing yourself. This is the work of every man or woman in any aspect of life. Do your best to be your best and more then fill your place on earth and you will attract or stumble upon "your hearts desires!"
So on a practical level here is how it works. Remember we are body, soul, and spirit and the problem starts in the soul or mind and emotions. Thoughts must be fought with thoughts and the only way to fight a thought is with a word. Words create thoughts and the that is why what you say to yourself is so important. If you entertain negative thoughts with out combating them with positive words then you allow those negative thoughts to breed in your mind and multiply until it becomes a negative cycle or depression.
So you must begin to write down every positive thing about yourself and life and anything positive thing you want to see happen in your life. Once you have written these things down as positive sentences then begin to speak them out loud in the morning and at night and anytime a negative thought comes in your head. See this as sowing and reaping. For years you have been sowing and reaping negativity and now you will use these new seeds or words to create a better harvest for your life.
Next you want to go to the body. Exercise, enjoy nature, or do anything that brings you laughter and happiness through your senses. For me this is a funny movie or a walk in the park where I can relieve stress. This will add the physical element to completing yourself.
Finally its the spirit. To activate your spirit start by being grateful for what you have already, and detach yourself from the emotion of having to have a man now. You can believe that the perfect man is on the way, and be grateful to God for him and then release that attachment to that feeling or need and go on with your day in gratitude. This is truly "the Secret" to manifestation of your dreams. The next part of the spirit is trust and believe that the best is on its way to you and the begin to start to trust your intuition and gut feelings again. We all have that internal feeling that says "this is right or this is wrong", but the problem is we question it too much. We have to start to exercise our conscious again so we can release our spirit to help guide us again.
I am sure we have all had an experience when we felt like something was wrong inside us and we ignored that feeling only to later realize that we should have listened to that feeling! That is what your spirit is there for-to help you make the right choices.
So that is the end of this story for right now as I have written an essay to answer this question lol. I truly appreciate someone half way across the world taking the time to write from the middle east! I hope I have been of some help and feel free to ask a question or comment anytime. Also please share this blog with as many people as you can as I am trying to be a help to as many people as I can.
Thanks and God Bless!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Life: Secrets to the Secret!
This is another quick blog to those who have read the book The Secret and are confused when bad things still happen. This was a direct response to a question someone asked me and I wanted to share it with you.
You have to be balanced: I find too many people are out of balance when it comes to the secret. It is all spiritual and no physical. You have to have both...get the idea from the spiritual or your mind, and manifest it with the next logical way to bring it to pass. Its a process and it unveils itself step by step.
That is where most people miss it..they look for the whole thing at once and I have found that it usually does not work that way.
Well you might say well what if I have a tradegy or a loss while using the Secret?
I am truly sorry about your loss, but I am a straight shooter and I tell it like it is!
You operating in the secret did not cause this Crisis and your lack of money is not keeping you away. Life is sowing and reaping or cause and effect. You made a choice to do something by using the secret and you took a chance.
You made it through many trials and you should be grateful. Start being more thankful for everything around you. Be thankful for the times you did share with the ones you love, be thankful for the memories of the good things you have experienced, and be thankful for the things that God has always provided.
Start using affirmations...I thank God daily...my affirmation is..."Father God, I thank you for the little things and the big things and how you work out everything! I thank you Father for leading me into the way of abundance daily and always supplying my needs!"
This is the Secret: Gratitude and Faith...No worry, no doubts, and no excuses! Just believe, be happy, be thankful, and stop worrying.
Also, you are in a process and not every decision you make will turn out perfectly like you wanted. Sometimes you have to change course and realize oops I made a mistake and live with it.
Thats how this works..I hope you see what I am talking about and I wish you the best!
Feel free to post your comments or suggestions, or if you have a question I am always free to do my best to answer it.
Thanks
You have to be balanced: I find too many people are out of balance when it comes to the secret. It is all spiritual and no physical. You have to have both...get the idea from the spiritual or your mind, and manifest it with the next logical way to bring it to pass. Its a process and it unveils itself step by step.
That is where most people miss it..they look for the whole thing at once and I have found that it usually does not work that way.
Well you might say well what if I have a tradegy or a loss while using the Secret?
I am truly sorry about your loss, but I am a straight shooter and I tell it like it is!
You operating in the secret did not cause this Crisis and your lack of money is not keeping you away. Life is sowing and reaping or cause and effect. You made a choice to do something by using the secret and you took a chance.
You made it through many trials and you should be grateful. Start being more thankful for everything around you. Be thankful for the times you did share with the ones you love, be thankful for the memories of the good things you have experienced, and be thankful for the things that God has always provided.
Start using affirmations...I thank God daily...my affirmation is..."Father God, I thank you for the little things and the big things and how you work out everything! I thank you Father for leading me into the way of abundance daily and always supplying my needs!"
This is the Secret: Gratitude and Faith...No worry, no doubts, and no excuses! Just believe, be happy, be thankful, and stop worrying.
Also, you are in a process and not every decision you make will turn out perfectly like you wanted. Sometimes you have to change course and realize oops I made a mistake and live with it.
Thats how this works..I hope you see what I am talking about and I wish you the best!
Feel free to post your comments or suggestions, or if you have a question I am always free to do my best to answer it.
Thanks
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Life: Faith-What do You do in a Crisis?
What do you do when all hell is breaking out in your life? first breathe. You would be surprised at how many people make things worse by not taking the time to just breathe. Sit down relax for a minute-the crisis is not going anywhere so just breathe. Next close your eyes and relax and think about something you enjoy. Get your thoughts off whats bugging you and on what makes you happy. Last focus on the end result-what would the best case scenario be to your crisis and focus on that. Trust and believe that the best possible scenario will happen. Focus on that and do not worry about the details and watch miracles happen.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Life & Finances: Pain vs. Pleasure
This category is under Life & Finances, because as you will see this principle of pain vs pleasure relates to everything in your life. In this blog I will focus mainly on the financial and accomplishing goals side of this concept.-enjoy!
Every major decision you will ever make will be based on your pain or pleasure towards that thing. Here is an example; most of you remember dating or are still dating. Do you remember the feelings you had asking or being asked out for the first time? I guarantee that you made your decision based upon the pain of being rejected or the pleasure of that first date. How about something a little more relevant to what most us are going through, and that is the subject of MONEY! The sticky green stuff that gives most of us pain and pleasure each and every day!
When was the last time you made a decision that involved your money? A day ago? Today? A few minutes ago? I don't know about you, but there are not many moments that go by in a day that doesn't affect my money somehow.
The reality of it is that most of you go through the very same thing that I have been through, and that is why I can talk with you so plainly, because I can relate to you. The bottom line is that either your money is bringing you pain or pleasure and there is no in-between.
The last time you made a business or financial decision this is what happened; you either did the deal because you saw the immense pleasure in the chance to make money or you did not make the deal based on the pain you "MIGHT" feel if it did not work out. There is a third level also, and that is pain vs. pain or the lesser pain syndrome. This is when you make a decision based upon what will hurt less like choosing to not eat that chocolate cake even though you can taste the pleasure of it in your mind, but you choose the pain of not eating it because that pain is better then the pain of not fitting in your swimsuit this summer.
Are you starting to see how this all works? I hope you are, but if you are not let me break it down a little further using the example of finances
Pleasure: You will have pleasure on getting the deal of a lifetime and you will see the benefits of owning your own business. You will see how the only safe investment in today's economy is an investment in yourself, and you will take great pleasure in knowing that in 2009 you decided to leave all the pain behind, and you chose the pleasure of taking control of your financial future.
Pain: You will continue to live in FEAR of what "MIGHT" happen and the pain of past failures and loss will drive you crazy and you will continue to live a pain filled life. In your mind you know that this pain is better then taking a chance or a risk that might not pay off in the end, and that pain is better then any pleasure you can ever experience because you are stuck in "analysis paralysis" and no decision is better then making a decision because truthfully you are just too scared.
Pain vs. Pain: You are the person just like the one above except your pain is a little different because your pain is the type of pain that causes you to make a change. You are sick of the pain of never having enough, you are sick of the pain of just getting by, and you are sick of the pain of believing things will never get any better because when you have had it real bad long enough a little good is just fine! You are not like that though you have decided enough is enough! Pain sucks any way you look at it and sure there are risk involved and sure you are gonna have to take a chance, but anything has to be better then this crappy life you are living now!
You, my friend, are sick of pain for pain's sake, because you finally realize pain is part of the process. No one who has ever made it has made it with ease; no they made it through Pain, blood, sweat, and tears. So you decided that pain of not going for your dreams is a worse pain than leaving your dreams behind. The REWARDS far outweigh the risk, and you use the pain for your benefit.
So no matter where you are in your life it is time to start to use this principle to your advantage. Begin right now and understand that every decision you will ever make will be based on this pain vs. pleasure concept.
We all have goals we all want to "Be Something" in life, but you will never get there until you master this concept. If you are gripped by pain of previous failures then embrace it. Embrace the pain and realize that it was not a failure, but rather it was a time to realize you needed a little more time to learn. It is no more a failure then a child who is learning to walk. You would not turn to that child every time he fell down and say "Hey You suck You are such a Failure!" Of course not, but on the contrary you would say "Hey you almost did it you were almost there!" and show such excitement for your child.
That is what failure should stir up in you because that is what life is saying to you on every failure. Life is saying "Get up...Great job...You almost did it...You were almost there...You will get it next time!"
Whatever stage you at in dealing with pain vs. pleasure realize that it is just all part of the process we call life. There is no escaping this pain vs. pleasure syndrome so why try. Embrace the pain and embrace the pleasure and begin to stop complaining and start conquering all your dreams and goals right now!
If you want to master this concept of pain vs. pleasure as it relates to your business or personal finances then go to my other website right now, and check out my latest book. The book is actually due out for national release in fall, but I have the original un-edited manuscript as an Ebook on my website where I tackle every sound practical financial concept you need in these times.
The website link is http://www.surviveyourfinancialcrisis.com and the name of the book is:
Money & The 9 Steps You Need to Survive Any Financial Crisis: Mainstreets Solutions to Wallstreets Problems!
Hope You enjoy it and dont forget to get your Paperback or Hardback Copy in the fall!
Every major decision you will ever make will be based on your pain or pleasure towards that thing. Here is an example; most of you remember dating or are still dating. Do you remember the feelings you had asking or being asked out for the first time? I guarantee that you made your decision based upon the pain of being rejected or the pleasure of that first date. How about something a little more relevant to what most us are going through, and that is the subject of MONEY! The sticky green stuff that gives most of us pain and pleasure each and every day!
When was the last time you made a decision that involved your money? A day ago? Today? A few minutes ago? I don't know about you, but there are not many moments that go by in a day that doesn't affect my money somehow.
The reality of it is that most of you go through the very same thing that I have been through, and that is why I can talk with you so plainly, because I can relate to you. The bottom line is that either your money is bringing you pain or pleasure and there is no in-between.
The last time you made a business or financial decision this is what happened; you either did the deal because you saw the immense pleasure in the chance to make money or you did not make the deal based on the pain you "MIGHT" feel if it did not work out. There is a third level also, and that is pain vs. pain or the lesser pain syndrome. This is when you make a decision based upon what will hurt less like choosing to not eat that chocolate cake even though you can taste the pleasure of it in your mind, but you choose the pain of not eating it because that pain is better then the pain of not fitting in your swimsuit this summer.
Are you starting to see how this all works? I hope you are, but if you are not let me break it down a little further using the example of finances
Pleasure: You will have pleasure on getting the deal of a lifetime and you will see the benefits of owning your own business. You will see how the only safe investment in today's economy is an investment in yourself, and you will take great pleasure in knowing that in 2009 you decided to leave all the pain behind, and you chose the pleasure of taking control of your financial future.
Pain: You will continue to live in FEAR of what "MIGHT" happen and the pain of past failures and loss will drive you crazy and you will continue to live a pain filled life. In your mind you know that this pain is better then taking a chance or a risk that might not pay off in the end, and that pain is better then any pleasure you can ever experience because you are stuck in "analysis paralysis" and no decision is better then making a decision because truthfully you are just too scared.
Pain vs. Pain: You are the person just like the one above except your pain is a little different because your pain is the type of pain that causes you to make a change. You are sick of the pain of never having enough, you are sick of the pain of just getting by, and you are sick of the pain of believing things will never get any better because when you have had it real bad long enough a little good is just fine! You are not like that though you have decided enough is enough! Pain sucks any way you look at it and sure there are risk involved and sure you are gonna have to take a chance, but anything has to be better then this crappy life you are living now!
You, my friend, are sick of pain for pain's sake, because you finally realize pain is part of the process. No one who has ever made it has made it with ease; no they made it through Pain, blood, sweat, and tears. So you decided that pain of not going for your dreams is a worse pain than leaving your dreams behind. The REWARDS far outweigh the risk, and you use the pain for your benefit.
So no matter where you are in your life it is time to start to use this principle to your advantage. Begin right now and understand that every decision you will ever make will be based on this pain vs. pleasure concept.
We all have goals we all want to "Be Something" in life, but you will never get there until you master this concept. If you are gripped by pain of previous failures then embrace it. Embrace the pain and realize that it was not a failure, but rather it was a time to realize you needed a little more time to learn. It is no more a failure then a child who is learning to walk. You would not turn to that child every time he fell down and say "Hey You suck You are such a Failure!" Of course not, but on the contrary you would say "Hey you almost did it you were almost there!" and show such excitement for your child.
That is what failure should stir up in you because that is what life is saying to you on every failure. Life is saying "Get up...Great job...You almost did it...You were almost there...You will get it next time!"
Whatever stage you at in dealing with pain vs. pleasure realize that it is just all part of the process we call life. There is no escaping this pain vs. pleasure syndrome so why try. Embrace the pain and embrace the pleasure and begin to stop complaining and start conquering all your dreams and goals right now!
If you want to master this concept of pain vs. pleasure as it relates to your business or personal finances then go to my other website right now, and check out my latest book. The book is actually due out for national release in fall, but I have the original un-edited manuscript as an Ebook on my website where I tackle every sound practical financial concept you need in these times.
The website link is http://www.surviveyourfinancialcrisis.com and the name of the book is:
Money & The 9 Steps You Need to Survive Any Financial Crisis: Mainstreets Solutions to Wallstreets Problems!
Hope You enjoy it and dont forget to get your Paperback or Hardback Copy in the fall!
Family: Whats up with all these Haters???
This blog is labeled under Family but it deals with all kinds of relationship categories such as co-workers and friends.
I sometimes get the pleasure or seeing true human nature at work. One of the craziest things I see is when you have two groups of women hating on each other. I am sure you know what I mean like at the gym or at work. You have the pretty girls on one side and the not as in shape girls on the other side. One group is hating on the other group and vice versa. Maybe they are jealous because they think she got the job because she is sleeping with the boss. I bet I got your attention now lol. One case I heard recently was one lady was hating on another because the other lady had accomplished a goal that she not accomplished. When the second woman heard that the original lady was hating on her because she accomplished her goal then she returned the hater-ade saying "well if she would just shut-up and work harder she might be something!" Wow such harsh words from both parties.
This may come as a shock to you but I do not feel that either group is right or wrong, but I think the main problem most people are missing here is that most people are emotionally challenged. What I mean by this is that it is the internal dialog a person has with themself that keeps them from accomplishing their goals. They have these inner battles that keeps them from really focusing on the true problems they have in their own life. So instead of taking the time to look within and fix things they look to the outside world to find someone or something they can complain about.
We all know it is easier to complain about things then to fix things. Just like in any relationship or business or anything for that matter, it is truly human nature to point out the problem then to find the solution. So then jealousy and envy appear as a band aid to these hurting women/men because if they can judge others it will take the heat off them for a minute.
My wish is for a helping hand syndrome to take place. What I mean is put yourself in their shoes for a minute and feel their pain. No one is perfect and we all have at least one weakness. The problem is their weakness might be your strength and vice versa so instead of a helping hand we judge swiftly and often times extremely harsh.
So who is wrong here? No one, yet everyone to a point because nobody takes the time to help. We say I cant believe this or that about someone instead of sharing our keys that helped us reach our goals. In reality people are not haters they just wish they could catch a break! well what if you were their break? They obviously want what you got so why not share by example how to get there. Why not be a little more kind and understanding. I bet if you think about it were you not in a place of hurt before? Of course you were because we all have been hurt at least one time before. Pain is Pain for everyone, and pain is not judgemental so why are we? Next time you are getting a big tall glass of Hater-ade take it as a compliment because they like what you got. Then switch on some genuine kindness and see if you can help them out a little. You will be surprised how most situations can be turned around with a little understanding. Well I hope I haven't bored you to bad today.
Just my opinion and thanks for letting me share.
I sometimes get the pleasure or seeing true human nature at work. One of the craziest things I see is when you have two groups of women hating on each other. I am sure you know what I mean like at the gym or at work. You have the pretty girls on one side and the not as in shape girls on the other side. One group is hating on the other group and vice versa. Maybe they are jealous because they think she got the job because she is sleeping with the boss. I bet I got your attention now lol. One case I heard recently was one lady was hating on another because the other lady had accomplished a goal that she not accomplished. When the second woman heard that the original lady was hating on her because she accomplished her goal then she returned the hater-ade saying "well if she would just shut-up and work harder she might be something!" Wow such harsh words from both parties.
This may come as a shock to you but I do not feel that either group is right or wrong, but I think the main problem most people are missing here is that most people are emotionally challenged. What I mean by this is that it is the internal dialog a person has with themself that keeps them from accomplishing their goals. They have these inner battles that keeps them from really focusing on the true problems they have in their own life. So instead of taking the time to look within and fix things they look to the outside world to find someone or something they can complain about.
We all know it is easier to complain about things then to fix things. Just like in any relationship or business or anything for that matter, it is truly human nature to point out the problem then to find the solution. So then jealousy and envy appear as a band aid to these hurting women/men because if they can judge others it will take the heat off them for a minute.
My wish is for a helping hand syndrome to take place. What I mean is put yourself in their shoes for a minute and feel their pain. No one is perfect and we all have at least one weakness. The problem is their weakness might be your strength and vice versa so instead of a helping hand we judge swiftly and often times extremely harsh.
So who is wrong here? No one, yet everyone to a point because nobody takes the time to help. We say I cant believe this or that about someone instead of sharing our keys that helped us reach our goals. In reality people are not haters they just wish they could catch a break! well what if you were their break? They obviously want what you got so why not share by example how to get there. Why not be a little more kind and understanding. I bet if you think about it were you not in a place of hurt before? Of course you were because we all have been hurt at least one time before. Pain is Pain for everyone, and pain is not judgemental so why are we? Next time you are getting a big tall glass of Hater-ade take it as a compliment because they like what you got. Then switch on some genuine kindness and see if you can help them out a little. You will be surprised how most situations can be turned around with a little understanding. Well I hope I haven't bored you to bad today.
Just my opinion and thanks for letting me share.
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