This category is under Life & Finances, because as you will see this principle of pain vs pleasure relates to everything in your life. In this blog I will focus mainly on the financial and accomplishing goals side of this concept.-enjoy!
Every major decision you will ever make will be based on your pain or pleasure towards that thing. Here is an example; most of you remember dating or are still dating. Do you remember the feelings you had asking or being asked out for the first time? I guarantee that you made your decision based upon the pain of being rejected or the pleasure of that first date. How about something a little more relevant to what most us are going through, and that is the subject of MONEY! The sticky green stuff that gives most of us pain and pleasure each and every day!
When was the last time you made a decision that involved your money? A day ago? Today? A few minutes ago? I don't know about you, but there are not many moments that go by in a day that doesn't affect my money somehow.
The reality of it is that most of you go through the very same thing that I have been through, and that is why I can talk with you so plainly, because I can relate to you. The bottom line is that either your money is bringing you pain or pleasure and there is no in-between.
The last time you made a business or financial decision this is what happened; you either did the deal because you saw the immense pleasure in the chance to make money or you did not make the deal based on the pain you "MIGHT" feel if it did not work out. There is a third level also, and that is pain vs. pain or the lesser pain syndrome. This is when you make a decision based upon what will hurt less like choosing to not eat that chocolate cake even though you can taste the pleasure of it in your mind, but you choose the pain of not eating it because that pain is better then the pain of not fitting in your swimsuit this summer.
Are you starting to see how this all works? I hope you are, but if you are not let me break it down a little further using the example of finances
Pleasure: You will have pleasure on getting the deal of a lifetime and you will see the benefits of owning your own business. You will see how the only safe investment in today's economy is an investment in yourself, and you will take great pleasure in knowing that in 2009 you decided to leave all the pain behind, and you chose the pleasure of taking control of your financial future.
Pain: You will continue to live in FEAR of what "MIGHT" happen and the pain of past failures and loss will drive you crazy and you will continue to live a pain filled life. In your mind you know that this pain is better then taking a chance or a risk that might not pay off in the end, and that pain is better then any pleasure you can ever experience because you are stuck in "analysis paralysis" and no decision is better then making a decision because truthfully you are just too scared.
Pain vs. Pain: You are the person just like the one above except your pain is a little different because your pain is the type of pain that causes you to make a change. You are sick of the pain of never having enough, you are sick of the pain of just getting by, and you are sick of the pain of believing things will never get any better because when you have had it real bad long enough a little good is just fine! You are not like that though you have decided enough is enough! Pain sucks any way you look at it and sure there are risk involved and sure you are gonna have to take a chance, but anything has to be better then this crappy life you are living now!
You, my friend, are sick of pain for pain's sake, because you finally realize pain is part of the process. No one who has ever made it has made it with ease; no they made it through Pain, blood, sweat, and tears. So you decided that pain of not going for your dreams is a worse pain than leaving your dreams behind. The REWARDS far outweigh the risk, and you use the pain for your benefit.
So no matter where you are in your life it is time to start to use this principle to your advantage. Begin right now and understand that every decision you will ever make will be based on this pain vs. pleasure concept.
We all have goals we all want to "Be Something" in life, but you will never get there until you master this concept. If you are gripped by pain of previous failures then embrace it. Embrace the pain and realize that it was not a failure, but rather it was a time to realize you needed a little more time to learn. It is no more a failure then a child who is learning to walk. You would not turn to that child every time he fell down and say "Hey You suck You are such a Failure!" Of course not, but on the contrary you would say "Hey you almost did it you were almost there!" and show such excitement for your child.
That is what failure should stir up in you because that is what life is saying to you on every failure. Life is saying "Get up...Great job...You almost did it...You were almost there...You will get it next time!"
Whatever stage you at in dealing with pain vs. pleasure realize that it is just all part of the process we call life. There is no escaping this pain vs. pleasure syndrome so why try. Embrace the pain and embrace the pleasure and begin to stop complaining and start conquering all your dreams and goals right now!
If you want to master this concept of pain vs. pleasure as it relates to your business or personal finances then go to my other website right now, and check out my latest book. The book is actually due out for national release in fall, but I have the original un-edited manuscript as an Ebook on my website where I tackle every sound practical financial concept you need in these times.
The website link is http://www.surviveyourfinancialcrisis.com and the name of the book is:
Money & The 9 Steps You Need to Survive Any Financial Crisis: Mainstreets Solutions to Wallstreets Problems!
Hope You enjoy it and dont forget to get your Paperback or Hardback Copy in the fall!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Family: Whats up with all these Haters???
This blog is labeled under Family but it deals with all kinds of relationship categories such as co-workers and friends.
I sometimes get the pleasure or seeing true human nature at work. One of the craziest things I see is when you have two groups of women hating on each other. I am sure you know what I mean like at the gym or at work. You have the pretty girls on one side and the not as in shape girls on the other side. One group is hating on the other group and vice versa. Maybe they are jealous because they think she got the job because she is sleeping with the boss. I bet I got your attention now lol. One case I heard recently was one lady was hating on another because the other lady had accomplished a goal that she not accomplished. When the second woman heard that the original lady was hating on her because she accomplished her goal then she returned the hater-ade saying "well if she would just shut-up and work harder she might be something!" Wow such harsh words from both parties.
This may come as a shock to you but I do not feel that either group is right or wrong, but I think the main problem most people are missing here is that most people are emotionally challenged. What I mean by this is that it is the internal dialog a person has with themself that keeps them from accomplishing their goals. They have these inner battles that keeps them from really focusing on the true problems they have in their own life. So instead of taking the time to look within and fix things they look to the outside world to find someone or something they can complain about.
We all know it is easier to complain about things then to fix things. Just like in any relationship or business or anything for that matter, it is truly human nature to point out the problem then to find the solution. So then jealousy and envy appear as a band aid to these hurting women/men because if they can judge others it will take the heat off them for a minute.
My wish is for a helping hand syndrome to take place. What I mean is put yourself in their shoes for a minute and feel their pain. No one is perfect and we all have at least one weakness. The problem is their weakness might be your strength and vice versa so instead of a helping hand we judge swiftly and often times extremely harsh.
So who is wrong here? No one, yet everyone to a point because nobody takes the time to help. We say I cant believe this or that about someone instead of sharing our keys that helped us reach our goals. In reality people are not haters they just wish they could catch a break! well what if you were their break? They obviously want what you got so why not share by example how to get there. Why not be a little more kind and understanding. I bet if you think about it were you not in a place of hurt before? Of course you were because we all have been hurt at least one time before. Pain is Pain for everyone, and pain is not judgemental so why are we? Next time you are getting a big tall glass of Hater-ade take it as a compliment because they like what you got. Then switch on some genuine kindness and see if you can help them out a little. You will be surprised how most situations can be turned around with a little understanding. Well I hope I haven't bored you to bad today.
Just my opinion and thanks for letting me share.
I sometimes get the pleasure or seeing true human nature at work. One of the craziest things I see is when you have two groups of women hating on each other. I am sure you know what I mean like at the gym or at work. You have the pretty girls on one side and the not as in shape girls on the other side. One group is hating on the other group and vice versa. Maybe they are jealous because they think she got the job because she is sleeping with the boss. I bet I got your attention now lol. One case I heard recently was one lady was hating on another because the other lady had accomplished a goal that she not accomplished. When the second woman heard that the original lady was hating on her because she accomplished her goal then she returned the hater-ade saying "well if she would just shut-up and work harder she might be something!" Wow such harsh words from both parties.
This may come as a shock to you but I do not feel that either group is right or wrong, but I think the main problem most people are missing here is that most people are emotionally challenged. What I mean by this is that it is the internal dialog a person has with themself that keeps them from accomplishing their goals. They have these inner battles that keeps them from really focusing on the true problems they have in their own life. So instead of taking the time to look within and fix things they look to the outside world to find someone or something they can complain about.
We all know it is easier to complain about things then to fix things. Just like in any relationship or business or anything for that matter, it is truly human nature to point out the problem then to find the solution. So then jealousy and envy appear as a band aid to these hurting women/men because if they can judge others it will take the heat off them for a minute.
My wish is for a helping hand syndrome to take place. What I mean is put yourself in their shoes for a minute and feel their pain. No one is perfect and we all have at least one weakness. The problem is their weakness might be your strength and vice versa so instead of a helping hand we judge swiftly and often times extremely harsh.
So who is wrong here? No one, yet everyone to a point because nobody takes the time to help. We say I cant believe this or that about someone instead of sharing our keys that helped us reach our goals. In reality people are not haters they just wish they could catch a break! well what if you were their break? They obviously want what you got so why not share by example how to get there. Why not be a little more kind and understanding. I bet if you think about it were you not in a place of hurt before? Of course you were because we all have been hurt at least one time before. Pain is Pain for everyone, and pain is not judgemental so why are we? Next time you are getting a big tall glass of Hater-ade take it as a compliment because they like what you got. Then switch on some genuine kindness and see if you can help them out a little. You will be surprised how most situations can be turned around with a little understanding. Well I hope I haven't bored you to bad today.
Just my opinion and thanks for letting me share.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Finances: Part Two "where art thou"
This is part two of my last post: Hope you enjoy!
I hope you now understand the importance of this financial principle and I hopeyou are ready to be open and honest about your financial situation.
Well the first place to start is right at the top of your financial statement, and thatplace is your net income. How much money do you make after taxes? How muchmoney do you bring home? The reason I am looking for your net income and not your gross income is because we need to figure out what we can do with the actual amount that comes into your hands per month. This is the actual number you will use when you do your budget and financial forecasting. After you have written down your Net income I want you to write down absolutely every monthly expense that you have and I mean every expense. After you have a total dollar amount for your expenses subtract this number from your total net income.
The next question you need to ask yourself is on the subject of Debt. How muchtotal debt do you have and what is the monthly cost to service this debt? In other words how much money do spend each month on your debt such as credit cards, personal loans, or any other high interest payments.
I want to stop right here and I want us to focus on some very important issues in regards to your debt. This is the only part of this process where you have to do some real soul searching. Once you get to the bottom line and you know how much debt you have and how much you spend monthly I need you to see whether this is a main cause of your financial struggle. I had you stop the process for a second because this is a very sensitive subject. Debt is a cancer to your finances and it has to be cut out.
It is a real fight to stop charging things, but you may have to be tough on yourselfand cut up those credit cards. This was one of the hardest things I ever had to do but you will never survive and get out of this crisis if you continue to finance your life on credit. That is what has destroyed countless homes, families, and even our Government. Pay with cash and begin to regain control of your finances. Well what if it is out of control? Well I hate the idea of bankruptcy and I know it can be very devastating but it is almost a must that you get your payments lowered. The only way to salvage your credit is either to pay on time or re-negotiate with your creditors the terms.
Everyone is different because you will have it tough for a while. You will deal with harassing creditors, bill collectors, and negative people but if your situation is a real crisis and you have to choose between good credit and food for your family please choose your family. You can always restore your credit but you can’t always restore your family.
I can go on and on about this subject of debt but then this would be a different book. I guess you will just have to wait for my next book on Debt, but forright now do some research on the subject and read other books like Kevin Trudeau’s book “Debt cures” for tips on dealing with Debt.
I got off the path a little bit, but let us move on to the next question you need toask yourself. Do you have any assets like equity in a house or something youmight have that you can sell for cash? You would be amazed how much stuff we have just laying around that could be sold on eBay for some extra cash. The key is to examine everything you possess and write down the item and a value that you feel you could get for that item.
The idea here is to look for extra income to help you survive these tough times.The next question is do you have any skills that you possess that you couldimmediately use to generate extra money? If you are a teacher could you tutor kids on the side for extra money? Could you mow grass on the weekends or help fix cars for a better rate then your local mechanic? What about cooking and selling your food or work part-time from home. The key here again is to locate quick additional streams of income. Brainstorming with all these questions are the opportunities you have been looking for. You would be surprised with all the ideas you will come up with.
The last question is “what skills do I possess that can not only be used to make money, but are things that I am passionate about. The true key to digging your way out of your crisis and eventually thriving is to find something you are passionate about that you can make money with and do it with all of your might. I love people, food, and giving advice.
I make my money writing books to help people and in the restaurant field. Your passion does not follow money but money will always follow your passions. I hope this has given you the starting point you need to start seeing your way out of this financial crisis and we will continue to dig deeper in the next chapters.
Overview: Brainstorm, Brainstorm, Brainstorm!!!
1. List income and expenses.
2. List all your debts(who & how much you owe)
3. Decide on a strategy to deal w/ your debt & research all the possibilities first!!!
4. List all assets that could be converted into cash to help survive this crisis.
5. List all the skills you have that you are passionate about that you can use to makemoney with.
I hope you now understand the importance of this financial principle and I hopeyou are ready to be open and honest about your financial situation.
Well the first place to start is right at the top of your financial statement, and thatplace is your net income. How much money do you make after taxes? How muchmoney do you bring home? The reason I am looking for your net income and not your gross income is because we need to figure out what we can do with the actual amount that comes into your hands per month. This is the actual number you will use when you do your budget and financial forecasting. After you have written down your Net income I want you to write down absolutely every monthly expense that you have and I mean every expense. After you have a total dollar amount for your expenses subtract this number from your total net income.
The next question you need to ask yourself is on the subject of Debt. How muchtotal debt do you have and what is the monthly cost to service this debt? In other words how much money do spend each month on your debt such as credit cards, personal loans, or any other high interest payments.
I want to stop right here and I want us to focus on some very important issues in regards to your debt. This is the only part of this process where you have to do some real soul searching. Once you get to the bottom line and you know how much debt you have and how much you spend monthly I need you to see whether this is a main cause of your financial struggle. I had you stop the process for a second because this is a very sensitive subject. Debt is a cancer to your finances and it has to be cut out.
It is a real fight to stop charging things, but you may have to be tough on yourselfand cut up those credit cards. This was one of the hardest things I ever had to do but you will never survive and get out of this crisis if you continue to finance your life on credit. That is what has destroyed countless homes, families, and even our Government. Pay with cash and begin to regain control of your finances. Well what if it is out of control? Well I hate the idea of bankruptcy and I know it can be very devastating but it is almost a must that you get your payments lowered. The only way to salvage your credit is either to pay on time or re-negotiate with your creditors the terms.
Everyone is different because you will have it tough for a while. You will deal with harassing creditors, bill collectors, and negative people but if your situation is a real crisis and you have to choose between good credit and food for your family please choose your family. You can always restore your credit but you can’t always restore your family.
I can go on and on about this subject of debt but then this would be a different book. I guess you will just have to wait for my next book on Debt, but forright now do some research on the subject and read other books like Kevin Trudeau’s book “Debt cures” for tips on dealing with Debt.
I got off the path a little bit, but let us move on to the next question you need toask yourself. Do you have any assets like equity in a house or something youmight have that you can sell for cash? You would be amazed how much stuff we have just laying around that could be sold on eBay for some extra cash. The key is to examine everything you possess and write down the item and a value that you feel you could get for that item.
The idea here is to look for extra income to help you survive these tough times.The next question is do you have any skills that you possess that you couldimmediately use to generate extra money? If you are a teacher could you tutor kids on the side for extra money? Could you mow grass on the weekends or help fix cars for a better rate then your local mechanic? What about cooking and selling your food or work part-time from home. The key here again is to locate quick additional streams of income. Brainstorming with all these questions are the opportunities you have been looking for. You would be surprised with all the ideas you will come up with.
The last question is “what skills do I possess that can not only be used to make money, but are things that I am passionate about. The true key to digging your way out of your crisis and eventually thriving is to find something you are passionate about that you can make money with and do it with all of your might. I love people, food, and giving advice.
I make my money writing books to help people and in the restaurant field. Your passion does not follow money but money will always follow your passions. I hope this has given you the starting point you need to start seeing your way out of this financial crisis and we will continue to dig deeper in the next chapters.
Overview: Brainstorm, Brainstorm, Brainstorm!!!
1. List income and expenses.
2. List all your debts(who & how much you owe)
3. Decide on a strategy to deal w/ your debt & research all the possibilities first!!!
4. List all assets that could be converted into cash to help survive this crisis.
5. List all the skills you have that you are passionate about that you can use to makemoney with.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Finances: "where art thou" Part one-really how bad is it?
This is an exciting day bc I get to share a small portion of one of the chapters from my book that is being released this fall. Today I am going to deal with one aspect from that chapter and tomorrow I will give the practical side to it.-Hope you enjoy!
There is a story in the Bible that we are all familiar with. It is the story of Adam and Eve. As you all know Adam and Eve were created and placed in the Garden of Eden by God. God told them they could eat of every tree except for the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. To make a long story short they both ate of the tree and immediately their eyes were opened and they “knew they were naked.” They sewed together some fig leaves and began to hide from God.
This is comical to me because here we have two people running around wearing fig leaves trying to hide from God who see all things. Something happens in this story that really blew my mind away. God, who knows all and sees all, asked Adam a very peculiar question. God said, “Adam where art thou?” What a question and why would God ask such a question? God obviously knew where they were but he asked it anyway.
This really boggled my mind until I realized God was not asking for his benefit but he was asking for Adam and Eve’s benefit. What do I mean by this? God knew that in order to begin to help them out of their fallen state he had to get them to understand their true condition. God needed them to get real honest with themselves first before any form of deliverance could take place. Only when they began to be open and honest with themselves about their own situation could God begin to help them recover.
So that is where we are today. We have fallen and we are in a crisis but I can not begin to help you until I ask you this next question. Where art thou? Where are you financially, and be honest-how bad is it? The key to you surviving this or any financial crisis is to first get real open and honest about your current financial condition. Believe me this is going to be hard because it was real hard for me when I began this process for myself. You might be saying how is this going to help me right now? How is dealing with where I am now going to help me get out of this mess? Well let me give you a great example.
Have you ever been in a hotel and seen one of those hotel maps with the Big Red Dot that says “You Are Here”? I always wondered why the sign always told me where Iwas as it was somehow more important then the exit. I always said to myself, “Well if a fire broke out I would want to know where the Exit was rather then where I was.” Then one day I realized if a fire did break out it would be irrelevant to know where the exit was if I did not know where I was in relation to the exit. What good is a solution to your financial mess if you can not relate it to your personal struggle? If I can not relate my exit to your crisis I have failed you miserably. That is the importance to this question because the only true way for you to escape your financial crisis is to first understand“where art thou?”
Tomorrow I will give you part two-which is the practical side to "where art thou" I will give you the actual steps you need to get an honest evaluation of where you are financially!-Until tomorrow thanks!
There is a story in the Bible that we are all familiar with. It is the story of Adam and Eve. As you all know Adam and Eve were created and placed in the Garden of Eden by God. God told them they could eat of every tree except for the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. To make a long story short they both ate of the tree and immediately their eyes were opened and they “knew they were naked.” They sewed together some fig leaves and began to hide from God.
This is comical to me because here we have two people running around wearing fig leaves trying to hide from God who see all things. Something happens in this story that really blew my mind away. God, who knows all and sees all, asked Adam a very peculiar question. God said, “Adam where art thou?” What a question and why would God ask such a question? God obviously knew where they were but he asked it anyway.
This really boggled my mind until I realized God was not asking for his benefit but he was asking for Adam and Eve’s benefit. What do I mean by this? God knew that in order to begin to help them out of their fallen state he had to get them to understand their true condition. God needed them to get real honest with themselves first before any form of deliverance could take place. Only when they began to be open and honest with themselves about their own situation could God begin to help them recover.
So that is where we are today. We have fallen and we are in a crisis but I can not begin to help you until I ask you this next question. Where art thou? Where are you financially, and be honest-how bad is it? The key to you surviving this or any financial crisis is to first get real open and honest about your current financial condition. Believe me this is going to be hard because it was real hard for me when I began this process for myself. You might be saying how is this going to help me right now? How is dealing with where I am now going to help me get out of this mess? Well let me give you a great example.
Have you ever been in a hotel and seen one of those hotel maps with the Big Red Dot that says “You Are Here”? I always wondered why the sign always told me where Iwas as it was somehow more important then the exit. I always said to myself, “Well if a fire broke out I would want to know where the Exit was rather then where I was.” Then one day I realized if a fire did break out it would be irrelevant to know where the exit was if I did not know where I was in relation to the exit. What good is a solution to your financial mess if you can not relate it to your personal struggle? If I can not relate my exit to your crisis I have failed you miserably. That is the importance to this question because the only true way for you to escape your financial crisis is to first understand“where art thou?”
Tomorrow I will give you part two-which is the practical side to "where art thou" I will give you the actual steps you need to get an honest evaluation of where you are financially!-Until tomorrow thanks!
Fitness: A Jumpstart if you need it
This is my first blog on fitness. This one subject has been one of my biggest Giants in my life. So many peopl have struggled with their weight for soo many years, me being one of them, that I thought this would be something that we all can do together. So if you have helpful info that can benefit those who struggle please feel free to share. The bottom line here is that I can relate to the ups and downs of personal. Coming out of highschool I was a gym rat and later became a personal trainer and like most of us life happens and we let the priority of health pass us by. So I have recently recomitted myself to getting back in shape, and my results have been good, and I want to share a few tips that have helped me so far. I have learned a lot the past few months and trying to create a lifestyle that is manageable not some strict diet that no one could do!
I just got back from the gym and it was a tough workout but I survived lol. Yeah my goal is to get pretty lean but I want to it with a program that is fun and can be done as a lifestyle.
As for a jumpstart, It is always body, soul, and spirit for me in everything I do. For the body, I recommend a lot of protein. If you want lean muscle then go with turkey and chicken breast and a quality protein shake. Protein has to be with every meal and you should eat atleast 3 times a day. Jumpstart your day with either a quality protein shake or scrambled eggs 2 eggs max or a few slices of tky. This will really get your metabolism going. The key is to find foods that you like that are healthy. Fish is great for burning fat and it should help with muscle too but not as much as a protein shake or meat or eggs. Atleast in my opinion and with the clients I worked with in the past
The mind body connection is soo important here bc if you hate the food that you eat then that is negativity being pumped in your body and your results will vary. The other meals just need to be balanced do not worry about a typical diet just have quality protein and a carb or veggie for the other meals.
Another key is to eat when you are hungry and stop when you are almost full. This teaches your body how to control your appetite and use your instincts much like a baby does. There is a great book out that deals with this more and the sub-conscious aspect of everything it is called I can make you thin by Paul Mekka or something like that lol. It even comes with a cd that helps take away cravings. It really helped me alot. I am down 20 pounds bc of it and it has helped my workout routine and made it more enjoyable.
You would be surprised how our subconscious programming can sabotage our efforts when you are trying to get back in shape. This goes back to some of my other blogs. When you are constantly hearing or speaking negative things about your body you will begin to believe those things. On top of that it will be a program that will run automatically and and keep you from losing weight. Here is an example: If you grew up in my generation or earlier your parents probably told you to always eat everything on your plate because some poor kid in another country would be blessed to eat our scraps. We heard this soo much it has become programmed in us! Now you go to a restaurant or sit down to eat and you dont get up until you have eaten ALL the food from your plate. With portions being as huge as they are now you can see how that kind of programming can affect us when trying to get in shape. If we begin to retrain ourselves that its alright to eat until you are satisfied and not worry about alway "cleaning your plate" then we can begin to reap the benefits of a self-controlled appetite which is a key to losing weight!
for workout: Cardio is key if done before or after your first meal or right befor bed or after your last meal. It will boost your metabolism. Weight training is another key but you will weigh more bc muscles weigh more than fat so keep that in mind. I know some studies say that muscles dont weigh more then fat when you weight it pound against pound but muscles does weigh more in regards to your BMI which determines if you are obese or healthy. That is why a bodybuilder could have an obese BMI even though they do not have much fat on them.
Do you have a gym membership? For me it is so much better to exercise at a gym so I feel like I am doing something. Be careful when you choose a trainer bc alot of them use a cookie cutter approach and use old info and never learn new things. So choose someone who gives you a great gut feeling that they can help.
My last workout key is to walk in the sun for 30 minutes a day. I found a study that during spring and summer that walking in the sun boost metabolism a lot. I am going to start giving this a try myself, and I have noticed how much easier it is to lose weight when it is warm and I am outside. It has a lot to do with feeling energized in the sun which keeps you motivated to workout.
As for soul and spirit. That cd in that book I mentioned is great for reprogramming bad habits and for spirit just be happy and be positive which can be hard with up and downs of training but it is crucial to long term success. The ultimate spiritual aspect is stay thankful for the body you have , and do not be over critical of it. Be grateful that you have a body in the first place and you are alive and well. Then begin to visualize yourself in your new body with your eyes closed. Then open your eyes and see yourself as you did when you visualized your new body and be thankful for that.
I hope this has shed som light on different aspects of fitness, and feel free to share the things that have worked for you.
I just got back from the gym and it was a tough workout but I survived lol. Yeah my goal is to get pretty lean but I want to it with a program that is fun and can be done as a lifestyle.
As for a jumpstart, It is always body, soul, and spirit for me in everything I do. For the body, I recommend a lot of protein. If you want lean muscle then go with turkey and chicken breast and a quality protein shake. Protein has to be with every meal and you should eat atleast 3 times a day. Jumpstart your day with either a quality protein shake or scrambled eggs 2 eggs max or a few slices of tky. This will really get your metabolism going. The key is to find foods that you like that are healthy. Fish is great for burning fat and it should help with muscle too but not as much as a protein shake or meat or eggs. Atleast in my opinion and with the clients I worked with in the past
The mind body connection is soo important here bc if you hate the food that you eat then that is negativity being pumped in your body and your results will vary. The other meals just need to be balanced do not worry about a typical diet just have quality protein and a carb or veggie for the other meals.
Another key is to eat when you are hungry and stop when you are almost full. This teaches your body how to control your appetite and use your instincts much like a baby does. There is a great book out that deals with this more and the sub-conscious aspect of everything it is called I can make you thin by Paul Mekka or something like that lol. It even comes with a cd that helps take away cravings. It really helped me alot. I am down 20 pounds bc of it and it has helped my workout routine and made it more enjoyable.
You would be surprised how our subconscious programming can sabotage our efforts when you are trying to get back in shape. This goes back to some of my other blogs. When you are constantly hearing or speaking negative things about your body you will begin to believe those things. On top of that it will be a program that will run automatically and and keep you from losing weight. Here is an example: If you grew up in my generation or earlier your parents probably told you to always eat everything on your plate because some poor kid in another country would be blessed to eat our scraps. We heard this soo much it has become programmed in us! Now you go to a restaurant or sit down to eat and you dont get up until you have eaten ALL the food from your plate. With portions being as huge as they are now you can see how that kind of programming can affect us when trying to get in shape. If we begin to retrain ourselves that its alright to eat until you are satisfied and not worry about alway "cleaning your plate" then we can begin to reap the benefits of a self-controlled appetite which is a key to losing weight!
for workout: Cardio is key if done before or after your first meal or right befor bed or after your last meal. It will boost your metabolism. Weight training is another key but you will weigh more bc muscles weigh more than fat so keep that in mind. I know some studies say that muscles dont weigh more then fat when you weight it pound against pound but muscles does weigh more in regards to your BMI which determines if you are obese or healthy. That is why a bodybuilder could have an obese BMI even though they do not have much fat on them.
Do you have a gym membership? For me it is so much better to exercise at a gym so I feel like I am doing something. Be careful when you choose a trainer bc alot of them use a cookie cutter approach and use old info and never learn new things. So choose someone who gives you a great gut feeling that they can help.
My last workout key is to walk in the sun for 30 minutes a day. I found a study that during spring and summer that walking in the sun boost metabolism a lot. I am going to start giving this a try myself, and I have noticed how much easier it is to lose weight when it is warm and I am outside. It has a lot to do with feeling energized in the sun which keeps you motivated to workout.
As for soul and spirit. That cd in that book I mentioned is great for reprogramming bad habits and for spirit just be happy and be positive which can be hard with up and downs of training but it is crucial to long term success. The ultimate spiritual aspect is stay thankful for the body you have , and do not be over critical of it. Be grateful that you have a body in the first place and you are alive and well. Then begin to visualize yourself in your new body with your eyes closed. Then open your eyes and see yourself as you did when you visualized your new body and be thankful for that.
I hope this has shed som light on different aspects of fitness, and feel free to share the things that have worked for you.
Monday, May 4, 2009
unhappy: Part two: forgiveness when ppl and loved ones do you dirty!
The second part to being happy is forgiveness: You have to forgive all throughout the day because it is the biggest hindrance to receiving love. Un forgiveness causes bitterness and resentment which causes all manner of stress which cause you to literally BLOCK love and good feelings. So that is part of the reason you might feel un happy. This was really hard for me but I had to learn how to pray for the people that did me wrong or think nice thoughts about them or even do something nice for them. I always thought this made no sense in the bible when God says to forgive all those who do you wrong, and One day I figured out that forgiving them is not for their benefit it is for yours because if we dont forgive God will not forgive us and it will keep love and happiness blocked from our lives. So again be 100% open and honest with yourself and even if you feel you got all the bitterness out keep forgiving and thinking good thoughts daily and asking God to show you any areas where you need to forgive, Love, and appreciate.
In regards to relationships, you do not need to be a doormat either. That it is the main reason why so many people miss it. They feel they have to work on the relationship in order for it to work but the truth is you have to work on yourself first. I am not saying to be mean and deny the relationship but what I am saying is you cant give what you dont got and on either side of the relationship if you are missing something that the other one needs you have to build that part up.
The biggest problem is we try to be something we are not. We have to be ourselves and yes we should discipline ourselves not to hurt the other person but not at the expense of who you are. You have to be you and they have to be them and then you both have to figure out can we be together as we are? Knowing what you know can you set aside the difference and appreciate and love yourself first while loving them also. That is where a real relationship makes it or breaks it.
It is all a process and you should not beat yourself up everytime something goes wrong but do like God and take it step by step and appreciate each step. God created the heavens and the Earth and said "it is Good" then created this that and the other and after each step he said IT is GOOD. That is a great principle "appreciate each step."
In regards to relationships, you do not need to be a doormat either. That it is the main reason why so many people miss it. They feel they have to work on the relationship in order for it to work but the truth is you have to work on yourself first. I am not saying to be mean and deny the relationship but what I am saying is you cant give what you dont got and on either side of the relationship if you are missing something that the other one needs you have to build that part up.
The biggest problem is we try to be something we are not. We have to be ourselves and yes we should discipline ourselves not to hurt the other person but not at the expense of who you are. You have to be you and they have to be them and then you both have to figure out can we be together as we are? Knowing what you know can you set aside the difference and appreciate and love yourself first while loving them also. That is where a real relationship makes it or breaks it.
It is all a process and you should not beat yourself up everytime something goes wrong but do like God and take it step by step and appreciate each step. God created the heavens and the Earth and said "it is Good" then created this that and the other and after each step he said IT is GOOD. That is a great principle "appreciate each step."
Family: To all the single ladies Part Two: where you went wrong!
The subject of family covers many grounds such as single and married relationships, parenting, and all other kinds of relationship. So when family is the subject it wont always be a blog about a typical family situation. Thanks and just giving a heads up! Today's subject is for lady's single or married who feel lonelyand want to feel happy. Below is where you went wrong lol jk-enjoy
So where did you go wrong? It is not for me to say but I can say that you will never be happy until you are free from needing a man's approval or love to complete you. It sounds harsh and I am not saying we dont all need Love, because Love is the number one thing we need but it can not be something that is in the control of another person. You have to own your own feelings because the truth is they are YOUR feelings. We give too much power to other people to control us by what they think and say about us and they feel about us. The truth is people will come and they will go and life is of too much value to let them control our lives.
Love from another should ADD to our lives and not take away from our lives, and although Two shall become one so to speak but I think we got that messed up. It should be two complete people coming together to add value or multiply each other, but most people in relationships are two broken or incomplete people trying to be together. That never works because you are missing what he needs and he is missing what you need and it becomes a cycle of failure because no one ever stops and thinks well maybe if I was full and complete I could attract what I needed. The problem is though that it is hard to find two people to have that mentality because attraction is more powerful than reason especially in opposites. So we let attraction mess up our minds and commit to something that our reason or intuition tells us not to do.
So I believe you are in a process in which it is time for you to discover yourself. Remember what it is like to know what made you happy and be happy. It is going to be a process because you are going to have to re-discover yourself again and find out new things about what makes you happy. One key to start to rediscover personal Love for yourself and get rid of that lonely feeling is appreciation or gratitude. I like the word appreciation better because it gives more of the meaning of adding value to something. This might be hard at first because you might not "FEEL" thankful at the moment but you have to kind of fake it till you make it if you know what I mean. Appreciate everything verbally and daily and it will begin to add feelings to your heart. Express appreciation to yourself especially. This is a major way to free yourself from depending on someone else. When I pray I try to "FEEL" appreciation by feeling like I just added value to me like I will say thank you father for the sun being out today because it feels soo good. I might say thank you for the house I live in because I am glad I have a roof over my head and some people do not. I also might say I appreciate, while thinking of adding value, the ability to Love strangers and just be nice to them.
One of the main reason I believe I stay happy so much is because I sow appreciation in others. I try to always smile at people and I try to help people who ask for it and in return in makes me feel Good. It is funny how this cycle works. You have a problem and ask for my advice, I then give you advice in which you appreciate and feel better all the while I feel great because I am helping. The power of sowing anything good such as appreciation and kindness always fills your heart once you get it going.
So I hoped this has helped a few ppl out there understand feeling alone and un happy whether you are single or married.
So where did you go wrong? It is not for me to say but I can say that you will never be happy until you are free from needing a man's approval or love to complete you. It sounds harsh and I am not saying we dont all need Love, because Love is the number one thing we need but it can not be something that is in the control of another person. You have to own your own feelings because the truth is they are YOUR feelings. We give too much power to other people to control us by what they think and say about us and they feel about us. The truth is people will come and they will go and life is of too much value to let them control our lives.
Love from another should ADD to our lives and not take away from our lives, and although Two shall become one so to speak but I think we got that messed up. It should be two complete people coming together to add value or multiply each other, but most people in relationships are two broken or incomplete people trying to be together. That never works because you are missing what he needs and he is missing what you need and it becomes a cycle of failure because no one ever stops and thinks well maybe if I was full and complete I could attract what I needed. The problem is though that it is hard to find two people to have that mentality because attraction is more powerful than reason especially in opposites. So we let attraction mess up our minds and commit to something that our reason or intuition tells us not to do.
So I believe you are in a process in which it is time for you to discover yourself. Remember what it is like to know what made you happy and be happy. It is going to be a process because you are going to have to re-discover yourself again and find out new things about what makes you happy. One key to start to rediscover personal Love for yourself and get rid of that lonely feeling is appreciation or gratitude. I like the word appreciation better because it gives more of the meaning of adding value to something. This might be hard at first because you might not "FEEL" thankful at the moment but you have to kind of fake it till you make it if you know what I mean. Appreciate everything verbally and daily and it will begin to add feelings to your heart. Express appreciation to yourself especially. This is a major way to free yourself from depending on someone else. When I pray I try to "FEEL" appreciation by feeling like I just added value to me like I will say thank you father for the sun being out today because it feels soo good. I might say thank you for the house I live in because I am glad I have a roof over my head and some people do not. I also might say I appreciate, while thinking of adding value, the ability to Love strangers and just be nice to them.
One of the main reason I believe I stay happy so much is because I sow appreciation in others. I try to always smile at people and I try to help people who ask for it and in return in makes me feel Good. It is funny how this cycle works. You have a problem and ask for my advice, I then give you advice in which you appreciate and feel better all the while I feel great because I am helping. The power of sowing anything good such as appreciation and kindness always fills your heart once you get it going.
So I hoped this has helped a few ppl out there understand feeling alone and un happy whether you are single or married.
Finances: The power of choice!
The power to choose is an amazing gift, and although we all use the power of choice everyday most of us have no clue of its power to shape our lives. I hope have your attention because this is a very crucial part to your finances and success in every area of your life. I feel so strongly about this because through my own struggle I began to realize the power that conscious and unconscious choices have in our lives.
I have studied the lives of men and women who began with nothing and ended up with everything they ever wanted. I studied the lives of everyday people who were broke, busted, and disgusted also. What I found out in my personal research was astonishing.
I found out that many of the most successful people in the world had almost identical backgrounds to the men and women who were struggling to make ends meet. This baffled me because for the longest time I thought to be successful you had to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth, or at least come from some kind of affluent background with financial advantages.
The truth is the majority of people I researched started out just like you and me except they understood the power of choice. Many of the most successful people today would blow your mind away with the horrific stories of the struggles they have been through. Some have been raped, parents have been murdered, been through bankruptcy, divorce, foreclosure, or their business went belly up, but sooner or later they all stumbled upon the law of choice. Let me give you an example of the law of choice and its importance. Have you ever heard the old saying if a man says “I could never do that, or I can do that either way he is right.”
That is how choice works. Everyday men and women are making choices unconsciously by the words spoken out of their own mouths and the thoughts that they think. (We will tackle thoughts later.) Whether you realize it or not your words that you speak about yourself will dictate the outcome of your life.
Words are very powerful and they have the ability to direct us. Have you ever said something negative like “we could never be rich, or we could never afford a houselike that, or we could never take a vacation like that.” Then you wonder why you don’t get to enjoy those things. You just operated in the law of choice. You have the power consciously and unconsciously to help direct the outcome of your life but you must begin right now to choose it with the words you speak out of your mouth.
One day I stumbled upon the power of choice and I began to realize that any change in life begins with a choice. You must consciously decide that you will choose a better day. Start right now and choose to get out of this or any financial or life mess you might be in. This current economic crisis was created by bad decisions and choices, and this crisis will be solved by good decisions and choices.
I decided long ago, just like every other successful person, that I would choose a better life. It was not easy at all, but if I had never made that conscious choice I would have never found true riches and it is not all about money. Remember the key to this law is in your mouth. Speak to yourself and make a choice for a better today and a brighter tomorrow. You have to make that choice because no one else can make it for you. It doesn’t matter your background or how bad your situation is you can make a choice that you will survive this or any crisis no matter what. The power of choice is the foundation to everything else you will learn in life' so choose a better day Today!
I have studied the lives of men and women who began with nothing and ended up with everything they ever wanted. I studied the lives of everyday people who were broke, busted, and disgusted also. What I found out in my personal research was astonishing.
I found out that many of the most successful people in the world had almost identical backgrounds to the men and women who were struggling to make ends meet. This baffled me because for the longest time I thought to be successful you had to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth, or at least come from some kind of affluent background with financial advantages.
The truth is the majority of people I researched started out just like you and me except they understood the power of choice. Many of the most successful people today would blow your mind away with the horrific stories of the struggles they have been through. Some have been raped, parents have been murdered, been through bankruptcy, divorce, foreclosure, or their business went belly up, but sooner or later they all stumbled upon the law of choice. Let me give you an example of the law of choice and its importance. Have you ever heard the old saying if a man says “I could never do that, or I can do that either way he is right.”
That is how choice works. Everyday men and women are making choices unconsciously by the words spoken out of their own mouths and the thoughts that they think. (We will tackle thoughts later.) Whether you realize it or not your words that you speak about yourself will dictate the outcome of your life.
Words are very powerful and they have the ability to direct us. Have you ever said something negative like “we could never be rich, or we could never afford a houselike that, or we could never take a vacation like that.” Then you wonder why you don’t get to enjoy those things. You just operated in the law of choice. You have the power consciously and unconsciously to help direct the outcome of your life but you must begin right now to choose it with the words you speak out of your mouth.
One day I stumbled upon the power of choice and I began to realize that any change in life begins with a choice. You must consciously decide that you will choose a better day. Start right now and choose to get out of this or any financial or life mess you might be in. This current economic crisis was created by bad decisions and choices, and this crisis will be solved by good decisions and choices.
I decided long ago, just like every other successful person, that I would choose a better life. It was not easy at all, but if I had never made that conscious choice I would have never found true riches and it is not all about money. Remember the key to this law is in your mouth. Speak to yourself and make a choice for a better today and a brighter tomorrow. You have to make that choice because no one else can make it for you. It doesn’t matter your background or how bad your situation is you can make a choice that you will survive this or any crisis no matter what. The power of choice is the foundation to everything else you will learn in life' so choose a better day Today!
Faith: Religion, Christianity, and My Personal Views
Each day I am going to take one of the five keys I have learned and share just my thoughts. Although most of my thoughts are personal I feel that some of them can be used to bring a different perspective then what you have been taught
Well I am a Christian, but not your typical Christian. What I a mean by that is I believe that christianity was meant to be about Jesus dying for our sins so we can have a relationship with God as a father and son/daughter relationship and not just a bunch a rules. I feel organized religion has its place and I go to church every Sunday but what I feel like they are lacking in is properly explaining the idea of relationship with God "our heavenly father" and the guilt and shame the religion brings with it. I am very spiritual but normal because I finally realize to be spiritual does not mean to be fake and follow a bunch of rules and pretend to be perfect, but it means to understand ones true nature.
Religion is the teacher that should bring us into knowledge of our proper place with God as his children. For example if you have kids or know someone who does and if they are good parents they probably have a set a rules for the kids to follow. Those rules do a few things: first they establish who is Boss which is necessary in a child understanding who the true authority is, next the rules are there for the childs benefit. Parents dont give rules for rules sakes but they give rules because they love their kids and know that in following the rules their is safety and protection for their kids. Finally I believe rules teach the kids how much their parents truly love them and the older they get the rules go and the relationship stays.
This is no different then anyone's childhood. I remember my parents rules were tough when I was a kid but the older I got the less rules I had because they now wanted to test the boundaries of our relationship. Will I do good because they said so or will I be good because it is the right thing to do and because I respect them. Eventually there are truly no rules. I know have a totally free relationship with my parents and I never have to worry about the rules. I can talk how I want to them, I can confide in them, tell them how I feel both good and bad, and still know at the end of it all they are my parents and they still love me.
Maturity in our relationship is where we are now but it could not be there first without the rules that teach and lead us into relationship. This is the problem with Religions so many rules that lead us to more rules and never teach us relationship. I believe Religion was never meant to be the way it is now and although I am a strong Christian I am not held back by so many of the rules, because I have found my true nature which is our spirit and our spirit is always truthful. Just like being an adult you should know right from wrong from by now and what is a gray area. The grey areas are places where you must be led by your spirit or your conscious. For example some people think drinking is a sin some do not. This to some is black and white to others its grey. I believe in this case there are two answers. In my faith this would be an example a early christian getting saved and getting rid all the bad habits that keep them out of relationship with God the father and as they develop they might get in such relationship that they feel that rule not to drink once in a while is no longer a problem. In their maturity it is a grey area first a black and white area and now a grey area because they have developed to trust their conscious or spirit.
Here is the problem though: first most people never had a good relationship with their parents and especially their fathers so they dont know what a relationship with God would even be like. Second human nature is to always tell someone else what they can and can not do and that repels people from all religions, because we find the hypocrite syndrome in which God is judge by the children and how they misbehave but the truth is no one can keep all the rules and that is why in my faith we have Jesus. The bottom line is getting to become spiritual yourself and not leaving your true nature to someone else for a few minutes on sunday.
I totally believe in church and its functions but if you never develop your relationship and just use the 30 minutes on Sunday to boost you then to me that is where religion again overall fails us. The bottom line is I am a christian that believes there is more to God9as father) then we are taught at church, but I also believe in the truth of the Bible and through my own personal studies I have found it to be more then true and accurate and so many other religions support the truths of the Bible and now even science is starting to bridge the gap between it.
I could really talk your head off hear so I will stop, but I just believe that our true nature is spirit but I am no crazy nut job. If you met me I am just as down to earth and goofy as the next guy because to me to be truly spiritual is to BE HAPPY! I do my best to be in control of my joy and happiness and whatever I cant control I talk to God my father about and that is a basic idea of my faith and beliefs.
Well I am a Christian, but not your typical Christian. What I a mean by that is I believe that christianity was meant to be about Jesus dying for our sins so we can have a relationship with God as a father and son/daughter relationship and not just a bunch a rules. I feel organized religion has its place and I go to church every Sunday but what I feel like they are lacking in is properly explaining the idea of relationship with God "our heavenly father" and the guilt and shame the religion brings with it. I am very spiritual but normal because I finally realize to be spiritual does not mean to be fake and follow a bunch of rules and pretend to be perfect, but it means to understand ones true nature.
Religion is the teacher that should bring us into knowledge of our proper place with God as his children. For example if you have kids or know someone who does and if they are good parents they probably have a set a rules for the kids to follow. Those rules do a few things: first they establish who is Boss which is necessary in a child understanding who the true authority is, next the rules are there for the childs benefit. Parents dont give rules for rules sakes but they give rules because they love their kids and know that in following the rules their is safety and protection for their kids. Finally I believe rules teach the kids how much their parents truly love them and the older they get the rules go and the relationship stays.
This is no different then anyone's childhood. I remember my parents rules were tough when I was a kid but the older I got the less rules I had because they now wanted to test the boundaries of our relationship. Will I do good because they said so or will I be good because it is the right thing to do and because I respect them. Eventually there are truly no rules. I know have a totally free relationship with my parents and I never have to worry about the rules. I can talk how I want to them, I can confide in them, tell them how I feel both good and bad, and still know at the end of it all they are my parents and they still love me.
Maturity in our relationship is where we are now but it could not be there first without the rules that teach and lead us into relationship. This is the problem with Religions so many rules that lead us to more rules and never teach us relationship. I believe Religion was never meant to be the way it is now and although I am a strong Christian I am not held back by so many of the rules, because I have found my true nature which is our spirit and our spirit is always truthful. Just like being an adult you should know right from wrong from by now and what is a gray area. The grey areas are places where you must be led by your spirit or your conscious. For example some people think drinking is a sin some do not. This to some is black and white to others its grey. I believe in this case there are two answers. In my faith this would be an example a early christian getting saved and getting rid all the bad habits that keep them out of relationship with God the father and as they develop they might get in such relationship that they feel that rule not to drink once in a while is no longer a problem. In their maturity it is a grey area first a black and white area and now a grey area because they have developed to trust their conscious or spirit.
Here is the problem though: first most people never had a good relationship with their parents and especially their fathers so they dont know what a relationship with God would even be like. Second human nature is to always tell someone else what they can and can not do and that repels people from all religions, because we find the hypocrite syndrome in which God is judge by the children and how they misbehave but the truth is no one can keep all the rules and that is why in my faith we have Jesus. The bottom line is getting to become spiritual yourself and not leaving your true nature to someone else for a few minutes on sunday.
I totally believe in church and its functions but if you never develop your relationship and just use the 30 minutes on Sunday to boost you then to me that is where religion again overall fails us. The bottom line is I am a christian that believes there is more to God9as father) then we are taught at church, but I also believe in the truth of the Bible and through my own personal studies I have found it to be more then true and accurate and so many other religions support the truths of the Bible and now even science is starting to bridge the gap between it.
I could really talk your head off hear so I will stop, but I just believe that our true nature is spirit but I am no crazy nut job. If you met me I am just as down to earth and goofy as the next guy because to me to be truly spiritual is to BE HAPPY! I do my best to be in control of my joy and happiness and whatever I cant control I talk to God my father about and that is a basic idea of my faith and beliefs.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Are You Happy? Last Old Post
OK I just noticed that the order of these older post are backwards so start at the last blog and work your way back to this for the bolgs Date May 1, 2009-These blogs are 2-10 years old for this date. Fresh Blogs start tomorrow but I hope you enjoy the older post!
New blog today yeah...lol I havent wrote one in a while and I have an extra few minutes today so I decided to write. Anyway today Im writing about being happy. What does it truely mean to be happy? I think in today's world it is truly really hard to be happy because by definition happiness is expressed by reaction to your circumstances. That means that to be truely happy things have to be going right in your life, but if that is true then I now understand why most ppl are just not happy.
Most have problems a mile long, circumstances out of control, relationships out-of-wack, and ppl in your life who use you and mistreat you. So under all these problems how is one to be happy? Glad you asked lol... Through my own struggles and circumstances I realized that the only true way to be happy is to CHOOSE to be happy. The choice is truly yours. I realized that no one can truly make you upset or angry or mad until YOU react to them with those emotions. So if I chose to stay happy and think the best about the people in my life and my circumstances then I allow myself to remain happy.
There is just too much negativity in the world today, too many ppl hurting the ones they love the most, too many ppl not careing, not loving or not understanding eachother. I wish everyone would begin to be thankful for the little they have and just think about the ppl who have less or things worse off then you do! Realize and focus on the fact that there are better things out there for you and life gives you back what you put into it! So if you give negativity you will recieve negativity even if your circumstances are not your fault... What you sow you really do reap GOOD or BAD!! Thats just the way it works, so all though no one is perfect if we try our best to see ppl and circumstances as part of the process and learn to focus on being happy I think our lives would begin to change.
Most people think that everything happens for a reason and this is mostly true but I believe that our choices can affect the things that happen so even in Gods divine plan for our life I feel we play a part by making our own choices. He might have the perfect situation waiting on you but if you choose not to make the correct choice then you will recieve the wrong answer. Like I said before You reap what you sow. So lets stop blaming others and take responsibility for our own actions and make a decision today to BE HAPPY!!! That is all I want for all my friends today do your best to choose not to get mad or upset but be thankful for the little or lot that you have and choose to be Happy!! Well ttyl
New blog today yeah...lol I havent wrote one in a while and I have an extra few minutes today so I decided to write. Anyway today Im writing about being happy. What does it truely mean to be happy? I think in today's world it is truly really hard to be happy because by definition happiness is expressed by reaction to your circumstances. That means that to be truely happy things have to be going right in your life, but if that is true then I now understand why most ppl are just not happy.
Most have problems a mile long, circumstances out of control, relationships out-of-wack, and ppl in your life who use you and mistreat you. So under all these problems how is one to be happy? Glad you asked lol... Through my own struggles and circumstances I realized that the only true way to be happy is to CHOOSE to be happy. The choice is truly yours. I realized that no one can truly make you upset or angry or mad until YOU react to them with those emotions. So if I chose to stay happy and think the best about the people in my life and my circumstances then I allow myself to remain happy.
There is just too much negativity in the world today, too many ppl hurting the ones they love the most, too many ppl not careing, not loving or not understanding eachother. I wish everyone would begin to be thankful for the little they have and just think about the ppl who have less or things worse off then you do! Realize and focus on the fact that there are better things out there for you and life gives you back what you put into it! So if you give negativity you will recieve negativity even if your circumstances are not your fault... What you sow you really do reap GOOD or BAD!! Thats just the way it works, so all though no one is perfect if we try our best to see ppl and circumstances as part of the process and learn to focus on being happy I think our lives would begin to change.
Most people think that everything happens for a reason and this is mostly true but I believe that our choices can affect the things that happen so even in Gods divine plan for our life I feel we play a part by making our own choices. He might have the perfect situation waiting on you but if you choose not to make the correct choice then you will recieve the wrong answer. Like I said before You reap what you sow. So lets stop blaming others and take responsibility for our own actions and make a decision today to BE HAPPY!!! That is all I want for all my friends today do your best to choose not to get mad or upset but be thankful for the little or lot that you have and choose to be Happy!! Well ttyl
For All the Single Ladies lol:Whats your type: Very Very old post lol
Back again for yet another blog session lol. anyway todays subject is do types matter? This subject was brought to my attention recently and it got me wondering. What is the deal with having the right type of person to be in a relationship with. Is having to be this picky about height,weight, eye color, and hair etc really important?? or is it just another way of hiding our own insecurities? After all who doesnt want to find a perfect match? I know I do especially after my most recent breakup. I said to myself.... "Self" ,lol, your next woman is going to be your perfect type. She will have the right hair, eyes, lips, height, weight everything I could ever want in a person. But does this "TYPE" of person really exsist or is it just another form of personal sabotage?
This is how we miss out on the great things right in front of us. I think it all boils down to fear of the unknown. The what ifs in life will drive you crazy if you let it. "what if hes too short, what if hes too tall, what if shes not blonde with blue eyes, or what if shes not into everything I am into?" Well my what ifs are... What if she is the one what if hes the one... The one that drives you crazy in love, the one you think about when you wake up and when you go to bed, what if she makes you laugh at stupid things, or makes you smile even when you dont want to? what if?
I am really analizing my former beliefs on wanting the perfect type of person. I think I am starting to realize that person does not exsist and just because she doesnt exsist the way I thought she should doesnt make it wrong because the perfect type is out there for everyone I believe. Its the type that will be there when you need him, hold you when you want to be held, smiles at you when he/she first shes your face and makes you warm inside just being close. Thats the type Im looking for I think Im done with superficial stuff because when I am old and gray none of it will matter...her boobs wont impress me anymore, or eyes or hair color and I guess all that matters then will be does she still make me smile does she still make me laugh do I still miss her when shes gone is she still the best friend I have ever had? and I guess thats how I am gonna find my "TYPE" So for evryone whos out there looking for the right type think about it a little longer. Do the color of her/his skin or hair or eyes matter in the long run? Or does what really matters is how you feel in your heart for that person, and can you imagine your life without them. Well thats enough gay crap for today lol ttyl
This is how we miss out on the great things right in front of us. I think it all boils down to fear of the unknown. The what ifs in life will drive you crazy if you let it. "what if hes too short, what if hes too tall, what if shes not blonde with blue eyes, or what if shes not into everything I am into?" Well my what ifs are... What if she is the one what if hes the one... The one that drives you crazy in love, the one you think about when you wake up and when you go to bed, what if she makes you laugh at stupid things, or makes you smile even when you dont want to? what if?
I am really analizing my former beliefs on wanting the perfect type of person. I think I am starting to realize that person does not exsist and just because she doesnt exsist the way I thought she should doesnt make it wrong because the perfect type is out there for everyone I believe. Its the type that will be there when you need him, hold you when you want to be held, smiles at you when he/she first shes your face and makes you warm inside just being close. Thats the type Im looking for I think Im done with superficial stuff because when I am old and gray none of it will matter...her boobs wont impress me anymore, or eyes or hair color and I guess all that matters then will be does she still make me smile does she still make me laugh do I still miss her when shes gone is she still the best friend I have ever had? and I guess thats how I am gonna find my "TYPE" So for evryone whos out there looking for the right type think about it a little longer. Do the color of her/his skin or hair or eyes matter in the long run? Or does what really matters is how you feel in your heart for that person, and can you imagine your life without them. Well thats enough gay crap for today lol ttyl
The Ripple Effect: Very Old Post lol
So back again for another blog session. Its therapy for me in my quiet yet stressful life. So I am going through lots of changes right now Getting ready to start a few businesses, finalizing a few things, lots of relationship issues, and basically just starting over from scratch. Although I am excited about the opportunities in front of me but I am also scared to death at what could possibly take place. Will life hit me again with another blow, will my friends still be there for me, Can I truly be there for them without compromising myself and there needs? who knows I just got alot of things on my plate, and wishing it would all just go away.
Im not looking for symphathy or compassion just blogging to get it off my chest. Life goes by so fast to let things bug you but at the same time it goes by too fast not to care. What should we do then? Pretend to be alright with it or stand up and face the issues at hand with honesty and character? Again I dont know just things that are on my mind. If I could make things happen my way I would just snap my fingers and everything that I wanted would be in place. Family, house, business, everything all in its place. But life doesnt work that way. You have to bust your butt, make sacrifice, and hard choices and hope the decisions you make are the right ones.
I have made alot of changes in the past few months alot of choices have been made some good some bad, and I have a gut feeling I am about to make alot more changes and choices here very soon. I just hope I make the right ones. Who knows because I hear its like a ripple in a pond. One ripple affects the rest of the water so I guess My choices will affect the ones around me too, and thats deep. I guess we never realize how much the things we do affect those around us both for the good and bad. Wow I guess I never thought about that before, and I guess I will work on that too. So what I do with this new found revelation? I guess I better just do my best to make the right choices, and hopefully one day it will pay off.
I believe in what I believe in and that is to stick to my plans no matter what. I think it might hurt real bad at times but I really believe something good is about to happen. So for all those out there going through the ups and downs of life and having to face the consequences of your choices and actions keep hope alive lol "STICK TO THE PLAN IT WILL WORK IF YOU WORK IT" Guess Im out for right now. ttyl
peace
Im not looking for symphathy or compassion just blogging to get it off my chest. Life goes by so fast to let things bug you but at the same time it goes by too fast not to care. What should we do then? Pretend to be alright with it or stand up and face the issues at hand with honesty and character? Again I dont know just things that are on my mind. If I could make things happen my way I would just snap my fingers and everything that I wanted would be in place. Family, house, business, everything all in its place. But life doesnt work that way. You have to bust your butt, make sacrifice, and hard choices and hope the decisions you make are the right ones.
I have made alot of changes in the past few months alot of choices have been made some good some bad, and I have a gut feeling I am about to make alot more changes and choices here very soon. I just hope I make the right ones. Who knows because I hear its like a ripple in a pond. One ripple affects the rest of the water so I guess My choices will affect the ones around me too, and thats deep. I guess we never realize how much the things we do affect those around us both for the good and bad. Wow I guess I never thought about that before, and I guess I will work on that too. So what I do with this new found revelation? I guess I better just do my best to make the right choices, and hopefully one day it will pay off.
I believe in what I believe in and that is to stick to my plans no matter what. I think it might hurt real bad at times but I really believe something good is about to happen. So for all those out there going through the ups and downs of life and having to face the consequences of your choices and actions keep hope alive lol "STICK TO THE PLAN IT WILL WORK IF YOU WORK IT" Guess Im out for right now. ttyl
peace
Pursuit of Happiness: another old blog
Here I go again into the world of amature blogging lol. Anyway todays subject is "The pursuit of Happiness". What is this so called pursuit of Happiness? Is it real? Is it truely possible to be happy? Recently I saw the movie with will smith, and I loved it, but it got me thinking on my own personal pursuit of happiness.
There are two key words in that phrase that I want to write about. First of all Happiness. This word alone drives me crazy. I am one of the happiest people you will ever meet, but I am learning over the many years that I have been alive that Happiness is a choice. Why do I say that it is a choice? Because lately very few things are making me happy, yet most people who really know me, and I mean really know wouldnt know that I have been struggling with staying Happy. Sure anyone can fake a smile anyone can pretend to be Happy but what I am talking about here is an actual ability to chose to make yourself feel Happy inspite of whats going on around you. I can tell I am not the only one who is struggling with being Happy. I can tell some of my closest Friends and Family are going through the same thing. So what do we do? How can we change our thoughts? How can we control our emotions? I believe the key is in how we approach our enviorment and how we approach our circumstances.
What I mean by that is our enviorment consist of our friends, family, co-workers, and generally the people you talk to on a regular basis. Our circumstances are the things that happen both good and bad on a daily basis. So what am I getting at here. Who knows I am just typing and seeing what happens lol. All jokes aside in my own personal life I realize that over the years when I had people in my life that were negative influences or did bad things, even if I cared about them, my life went into a bad situation. When I got around people who were focused and did positive things my life went into a good situation. I believe that the universe is like a big river. A good river and a bad river filled with fish called people. I think we as people or fish in the river lol choose what river we are in by the people we associate with even if we like them or just like hanging around them. Its amazing to me how easily we are influenced by the people around us whether good or bad. I noticed this pattern in my friends and families life. These are good people who just get around the wrong people and because they do they slowly are influenced either good or bad to the point that they are blinded to the reality that life can be better then it seems.
I also believe that the two rivers that I mentioned earlier flow in opposite directions. The bad river flows and takes you away from the things you need and love and the good river brings you to the things you need and love. So if all that is true then why do Bad things happen to good people? I am glad you asked lol. I dont know the entire answer but I think one answer might be to test our will. I believe everytime we choose to do good doesnt something usually bad happens to slow down our progress. For example you want to lose weight then somebody walks in with your favorite food or you try to quit drinking and you fall in love with an alcholic, or you are ready to better your life and you run into friends from your past who knew you when and dont want you to change. I believe these are all test to see how strong your will is to change. Its like God saying ok let me see how serious you are about changing before I send you any help.
Which brings me back to the other word "pursuit". In the movie Will smith had to go through hell from being broke and homeless to working for free before he finally realized his dream coming true. I believe the key was in his pursuit of happiness. It wasnt easy, things never went his way, but he kept believing that tomorrow could be better then today. Each and every day that you wake up and believe that today is an oportunity to be better then yesterday then I believe you automatically choose to pursue happiness, and isnt that everyone's goal in life "TO BE HAPPY?"
So what was all this about? who knows I just got into a typing mood and decided to write lol, but seriously I really just want to help people realize that life is hard real hard but if you can wake up most days and choose to be happy and choose to pursue with everything you got then I truly believe you will eventually reach your goal. And stop swimming in the bad river with the bad fish!!! Quit going against the flow of life!!! Get rid of people who dont belong in your life, and dont worry there is someone better out there for you!! A better companion, a better friend or a better partner. Open your eyes and see what you can have in life if you choose to go with the right flow, because either way you will be flowing one way or the other the choice is yours. So I hope I havent bored the two people who read my blog lol. See you next time.
There are two key words in that phrase that I want to write about. First of all Happiness. This word alone drives me crazy. I am one of the happiest people you will ever meet, but I am learning over the many years that I have been alive that Happiness is a choice. Why do I say that it is a choice? Because lately very few things are making me happy, yet most people who really know me, and I mean really know wouldnt know that I have been struggling with staying Happy. Sure anyone can fake a smile anyone can pretend to be Happy but what I am talking about here is an actual ability to chose to make yourself feel Happy inspite of whats going on around you. I can tell I am not the only one who is struggling with being Happy. I can tell some of my closest Friends and Family are going through the same thing. So what do we do? How can we change our thoughts? How can we control our emotions? I believe the key is in how we approach our enviorment and how we approach our circumstances.
What I mean by that is our enviorment consist of our friends, family, co-workers, and generally the people you talk to on a regular basis. Our circumstances are the things that happen both good and bad on a daily basis. So what am I getting at here. Who knows I am just typing and seeing what happens lol. All jokes aside in my own personal life I realize that over the years when I had people in my life that were negative influences or did bad things, even if I cared about them, my life went into a bad situation. When I got around people who were focused and did positive things my life went into a good situation. I believe that the universe is like a big river. A good river and a bad river filled with fish called people. I think we as people or fish in the river lol choose what river we are in by the people we associate with even if we like them or just like hanging around them. Its amazing to me how easily we are influenced by the people around us whether good or bad. I noticed this pattern in my friends and families life. These are good people who just get around the wrong people and because they do they slowly are influenced either good or bad to the point that they are blinded to the reality that life can be better then it seems.
I also believe that the two rivers that I mentioned earlier flow in opposite directions. The bad river flows and takes you away from the things you need and love and the good river brings you to the things you need and love. So if all that is true then why do Bad things happen to good people? I am glad you asked lol. I dont know the entire answer but I think one answer might be to test our will. I believe everytime we choose to do good doesnt something usually bad happens to slow down our progress. For example you want to lose weight then somebody walks in with your favorite food or you try to quit drinking and you fall in love with an alcholic, or you are ready to better your life and you run into friends from your past who knew you when and dont want you to change. I believe these are all test to see how strong your will is to change. Its like God saying ok let me see how serious you are about changing before I send you any help.
Which brings me back to the other word "pursuit". In the movie Will smith had to go through hell from being broke and homeless to working for free before he finally realized his dream coming true. I believe the key was in his pursuit of happiness. It wasnt easy, things never went his way, but he kept believing that tomorrow could be better then today. Each and every day that you wake up and believe that today is an oportunity to be better then yesterday then I believe you automatically choose to pursue happiness, and isnt that everyone's goal in life "TO BE HAPPY?"
So what was all this about? who knows I just got into a typing mood and decided to write lol, but seriously I really just want to help people realize that life is hard real hard but if you can wake up most days and choose to be happy and choose to pursue with everything you got then I truly believe you will eventually reach your goal. And stop swimming in the bad river with the bad fish!!! Quit going against the flow of life!!! Get rid of people who dont belong in your life, and dont worry there is someone better out there for you!! A better companion, a better friend or a better partner. Open your eyes and see what you can have in life if you choose to go with the right flow, because either way you will be flowing one way or the other the choice is yours. So I hope I havent bored the two people who read my blog lol. See you next time.
"OK" Old post:excuse the grammar
well Im back to blog again lol. So yesterday I was searching for reality, and I guess today I found it. Im glad I found it but sometimes dont u feel u might have been better off in a state of being oblivious to whats obvious. I mean sometimes life is ok there. Is it ok not knowing? is it ok to wonder? Is it ok just to think and ponder about what confuses you deep inside? If you havent figured it out yet my subject today is "OK" lol. I am trying to figure out what will make life ok. Ok to deal with, Ok to wake up to every morning, Ok to love, Ok to hate. What is OK? I dont know what is OK what I do know is Im definitely searching for it. Usually they say the greatest treasures in life are right under your nose or in your backyard or something. but what do "THEY" know anyway lol "THEY" always have an opion, but r "THEY" OK? Or r "THEY" just as confused as you are about what will make them "OK"? Who knows. All I know is though I might struggle to find out whats true and whats not, and all though "Reality" might confuse and scare the crap out me, I know that for the most part I am "OK" Im neither doing good or doing bad but Tonight I like to say that for the most part I am "OK". Until my next stupid blog see u guys around if anyone even reads these things lol
Reality: 2 yr old blog
Before I embark on this world of blogging I wanted to first put a few of my old blogs that I had on other sites. This website is for people who want to read something they can RELATE to and I thought it unfair to share triumps without first sharing some tragedy. The truth is your greatest struggles produce your greatest rewards, and your pain will always produce a promise. So as I begin to put my thoughts on life here in my blogs I want to first share the good, the bad, and the ugly. Here is an older blog from about two years ago.
what is reality? I wish I knew. sometimes I feel I live where noone else lives and thats my reality. Im blind to what is real and I guess thats my biggest flaw, and my biggest strenth. Because I see things the way I want to see them and fail to realize how they really are. Sometimes thats a good quality because I always see the best in people and I never want that to change because I believe that this world is sooo crapy as it is that has to be atleast one positive person in it to tell other people that they can be better then they are, and thats my reality. I think I am too deep for my own good but again thats my reality. Everyone has there own reality, and I believe its the world we create around us. It might be how you feel about something or how you percieve people to be or even and in most cases its how you think they feel about you. So what if all you thought to be wasnt and what you hope it could be couldnt? Would you then begin to see things for what they were or still look at it the same? Who knows because I live in a continual state of confusion and though I can put on a brave face and act like I have the world on my shoulders the truth is I am just like everyone else trying to make lemonade out of lemons, trying to make the best out of bad situations, Hoping tommorrow is better then today, AND THATS MY REALITY!!!! Like a good friend of mine once said "ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS" and thats my reality. Sorry if this blog is confusing I am just a brotha tryin to work things out lol and again thats my reality.
what is reality? I wish I knew. sometimes I feel I live where noone else lives and thats my reality. Im blind to what is real and I guess thats my biggest flaw, and my biggest strenth. Because I see things the way I want to see them and fail to realize how they really are. Sometimes thats a good quality because I always see the best in people and I never want that to change because I believe that this world is sooo crapy as it is that has to be atleast one positive person in it to tell other people that they can be better then they are, and thats my reality. I think I am too deep for my own good but again thats my reality. Everyone has there own reality, and I believe its the world we create around us. It might be how you feel about something or how you percieve people to be or even and in most cases its how you think they feel about you. So what if all you thought to be wasnt and what you hope it could be couldnt? Would you then begin to see things for what they were or still look at it the same? Who knows because I live in a continual state of confusion and though I can put on a brave face and act like I have the world on my shoulders the truth is I am just like everyone else trying to make lemonade out of lemons, trying to make the best out of bad situations, Hoping tommorrow is better then today, AND THATS MY REALITY!!!! Like a good friend of mine once said "ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS" and thats my reality. Sorry if this blog is confusing I am just a brotha tryin to work things out lol and again thats my reality.
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